No regrets. So sang Robbie Williams a few years ago. But is it actually possible to go through life with no regrets? I don't think so. If anything, the older we get the longer the list of regrets becomes. The job we didn't take. The opportunity we turned down. The relationship we let slip away from us. Or, maybe for you, its the other way round - the job you wish you hadn't taken, the opportunity you wish you had walked away from...
Some of these regrets can be like deep scars that never fully heal. The things we wish we hadn't said or done. The hurt we wish we hadn't caused. We try to forget about them but they never completely go away. We try to suppress it but deep down the guilt remains, like Macbeth's damn spot. Regrets leave us bitter or defensive or both.
Regret comes when we realise we’ve made the wrong choice between two or more conflicting alternatives. We think, “If only I could learn to make the right choices!” Pop-psychologists tell us we need to move on and focus on new goals to combat the feelings of failure or guilt. It may work for a while, but ultimately this just sets us up for more failure. Sooner or later we’ll mess up again. Why does life seem to involve so many disappointments and regrets?
The answer lies in what we think life is all about. If we think we are here as a result of some amazingly complex series of random events and that therefore the way we find meaning is to seek our own happiness, health and prosperity then failure is inevitable. People let us down. We let ourselves down. Things break and go wrong. Eventually we die. The world we live in is broken and messed up. And we are the reason why. God made the world perfect but we live in rebellion against Him. We reject His purposes for our lives and choose to live for our own selfish ends. The result is chaos and decay, death and destruction. All our yearnings for happiness, health and prosperity are really our God-given desire for the restoration of His creation to the perfection in which He first made it. But because we want to tune God out of our lives we try to substitute our own goals to satisfy the longings that He gave us. It’ll never work!
So how does all this help us with our regrets? When we admit that we have rebelled against God and ask Him to forgive us, He gives us new desires. Or, rather, He restores our original desire to find meaning in Him. When we have Him, our other desires fade away. He is the only one who will never disappoint us or leave us with regrets. Of course, we still live in a messed-up world, but now the things of this world no longer have the same attraction. So when things don’t go how we’d like it doesn’t lead to disappointment or regret because we know our happiness doesn’t depend on the same things any more. Now we look forward to the day when God has promised to restore His creation back to its original perfection, free from decay and corruption.
What about the question of guilt? Sometimes our regret is because we know we’ve done something wrong. Perhaps other people got hurt. Guilt is a reminder that we deserve punishment. That’s why we try to suppress it for deep down we know we have sinned against God. Even when we forget what we have done, God doesn’t. But this is where something incredible happens. God is holy and just. Just like we know that justice must be done, so God must punish sin. Yet God loves us and wants to forgive us and so Jesus was punished in our place. Through Jesus’ death on the cross justice has already been done, all our guilt has been ‘paid for’ and God can be merciful to us. All we must do is turn to Him and confess our sins and put our trust in Jesus. When we do that God no longer counts our sins against us and He gives us His Holy Spirit as a guarantee that He will never again do so. The question then is have you turned to Him? Or are you still on a course that will inevitably lead to regret? To regret something means it’s too late to do anything about it. God has already provided a way by which you need never experience regret again but you must turn to Him – before it is too late.
Of course, even when we believe all this we can sometimes forget and go back to trying to find our meaning in other ways and yet, instead of lasting regret, it becomes an opportunity to see even more of the wonder of God’s great love for us. For God is patient with us and, like the perfect, loving Father that He is, He allows us to wander from His ways, lets us see the futility of seeking happiness apart from Him and then gently draws us back to Him to see that He is what our hearts need. Guilt is replaced by forgiveness. Regret becomes rejoicing. Instead of feeling bitter we become joy-filled and thankful. He never tires of us. He never rejects us. He always works for our good – even when we stupidly and blindly run in the other direction. Why would we ever turn from such perfect love as this?
In a sense, the pop psychologists are right - we do need different goals but the only goal that really matters, the only pursuit in which will find significance and happiness is to know Jesus Christ. Ultimately, it’s not about what you have or haven’t done, it’s not even about what you know, it’s about who you know.
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jesus. Show all posts
Thursday, 12 November 2009
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
They call me the seeker
We are all seekers. We seek and strive after many things: pleasure and happiness, peace and security, contentment and fulfilment, comfort and prosperity, self-worth, meaning and purpose. Though we might not recognise it as such, a desire to be free of any guilt and to avoid the consequences of our mistakes is also at the heart of much of what we do. We may seek in different places and in different ways but, to differing degrees, deep down we all seek the same things. That’s because we’re all made with the same deep needs. But most importantly of all, we were made to know God.
Though we may try to satisfy many of these needs with the material things and pleasures of this world, in time we realise that they never bring lasting satisfaction. And so we are always seeking the next experience, the next thrill, the next possession, the next accomplishment, thinking that perhaps that will satisfy our needs. As some come to realise the hopelessness of this cycle they become very cynical and bitter. At some point everyone turns to ponder matters of eternity. Perhaps there is a God? Perhaps I can please Him?
The fact that we are all groping after similar things and that all of us, at some point, pause to consider such things as whether there is a “god”, whether there be life after death and so on leads some to conclude that all roads lead to ‘god’ in the end. There does seem to be an increasing dissatisfaction with the drudgery and materialism of this world. People want something deeper. They seek spiritual encounters and experiences but there are so many forms of religion and spirituality to choose from!
For some what matters is experience (does it feel good?) or practicality (does it work?). Whether it’s ultimately true doesn’t really come in to it. For others what matters is not so much experience or practicality but knowledge and truth. But if our deepest needs are to be truly met we must know that it is both true and that it ‘works’.
Yet a problem still remains. What ‘works’ in the short term may not work in the long run. What we need is ultimate truth that will stand the test of time and meet the longings of our hearts. Such truth can only be found in a person: Jesus Christ, “there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)
Though we may try to satisfy many of these needs with the material things and pleasures of this world, in time we realise that they never bring lasting satisfaction. And so we are always seeking the next experience, the next thrill, the next possession, the next accomplishment, thinking that perhaps that will satisfy our needs. As some come to realise the hopelessness of this cycle they become very cynical and bitter. At some point everyone turns to ponder matters of eternity. Perhaps there is a God? Perhaps I can please Him?
The fact that we are all groping after similar things and that all of us, at some point, pause to consider such things as whether there is a “god”, whether there be life after death and so on leads some to conclude that all roads lead to ‘god’ in the end. There does seem to be an increasing dissatisfaction with the drudgery and materialism of this world. People want something deeper. They seek spiritual encounters and experiences but there are so many forms of religion and spirituality to choose from!
For some what matters is experience (does it feel good?) or practicality (does it work?). Whether it’s ultimately true doesn’t really come in to it. For others what matters is not so much experience or practicality but knowledge and truth. But if our deepest needs are to be truly met we must know that it is both true and that it ‘works’.
Yet a problem still remains. What ‘works’ in the short term may not work in the long run. What we need is ultimate truth that will stand the test of time and meet the longings of our hearts. Such truth can only be found in a person: Jesus Christ, “there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)
Monday, 2 November 2009
The story of my life in verse
I have chased fortunes
And pleasures, its true.
But deep down my searching
Was searching for You.
I don't need fame,
Or a gadget-filled life,
But I need Your love,
More than food to survive.
And pleasures, its true.
But deep down my searching
Was searching for You.
I don't need fame,
Or a gadget-filled life,
But I need Your love,
More than food to survive.
Monday, 27 July 2009
Who do we love the most?
The answer is "me"! No-one takes more of our time, no-one gets more of our attention, we give no-one more care than ... ourselves!
Paul David Tripp wrote: "Only love for Christ has the power to incapacitate the sturdy love for self that is the bane of every sinner, and only the grace of Christ has the power to produce that love." (A Quest for More)
How true that is! Nothing else is powerful enough. Nothing else seems important enough to divert our attention from satisfying our own interests. I need to be reminded of this often else ME and MY interests and MY needs and MY desires will be the selfish motiviation behind everything I do. We love and make much of what we think is the greatest thing deserving our love and attention and the reality is we're all so me-centred that we think WE are the greatest and most deserving there is. But the truth is there is one who is greater. One who is God Himself who, though He was rich beyond our wildest imagination, yet became poor for our sake. One who was perfect in every way and yet took the punishment for our sins instead of us. No-one is more worthy of our love and attention. No-one is greater than the Lord Jesus Christ.
Of course the question could be asked how do we get such love? Love powerful enough to rescue us from our tedious little self-focused kingdoms where we never quite get the life we want, where we're never quite satisfied? C J Mahaney offers this simple yet profound advice:
"To grow in your passion for what Jesus has done, increase your understanding of what He has done. Never be content with your grasp of the gospel. The gospel is life-permeating, world-altering, universe-changing truth. It has more facets than any diamond. Its depths man will never exhaust"
(The Cross Centered Life)
It seems to me though that we face a challenge for neither the world at large nor the church in general seem to have much awareness of how me-centred they are nor of the destructive force it has. Most of the church seem to have at best only a superficial awareness of the extent of their 'sturdy love for self'. For some Christianity is not about what Christ has done for them but about what they can do for Him. Others seem to know and talk much about grace and yet there's little heart transformation. I think its because they've never been convicted of how self-focused they are. Its especially hard to detect when its wrapped up in a belief that one is about the Lord's business. There seems to be little experimental knowledge of the Apostle Paul's confession that when he wants "to do good, evil is right there" (Ro. 7:21). We are so consumed by self-love and self-protection that we can read a statement like this and automatically think it applies to other people but not ourselves!
We need to spend more time meditating on the gospel asking the Lord to shine his gospel light into all the dark recesses of our self-love. Perhaps if the world were to see a people in the church who are honest about their self love and who are increasingly growing in love for the Lord Jesus and for others then they might notice?
Paul David Tripp wrote: "Only love for Christ has the power to incapacitate the sturdy love for self that is the bane of every sinner, and only the grace of Christ has the power to produce that love." (A Quest for More)
How true that is! Nothing else is powerful enough. Nothing else seems important enough to divert our attention from satisfying our own interests. I need to be reminded of this often else ME and MY interests and MY needs and MY desires will be the selfish motiviation behind everything I do. We love and make much of what we think is the greatest thing deserving our love and attention and the reality is we're all so me-centred that we think WE are the greatest and most deserving there is. But the truth is there is one who is greater. One who is God Himself who, though He was rich beyond our wildest imagination, yet became poor for our sake. One who was perfect in every way and yet took the punishment for our sins instead of us. No-one is more worthy of our love and attention. No-one is greater than the Lord Jesus Christ.
Of course the question could be asked how do we get such love? Love powerful enough to rescue us from our tedious little self-focused kingdoms where we never quite get the life we want, where we're never quite satisfied? C J Mahaney offers this simple yet profound advice:
"To grow in your passion for what Jesus has done, increase your understanding of what He has done. Never be content with your grasp of the gospel. The gospel is life-permeating, world-altering, universe-changing truth. It has more facets than any diamond. Its depths man will never exhaust"
(The Cross Centered Life)
It seems to me though that we face a challenge for neither the world at large nor the church in general seem to have much awareness of how me-centred they are nor of the destructive force it has. Most of the church seem to have at best only a superficial awareness of the extent of their 'sturdy love for self'. For some Christianity is not about what Christ has done for them but about what they can do for Him. Others seem to know and talk much about grace and yet there's little heart transformation. I think its because they've never been convicted of how self-focused they are. Its especially hard to detect when its wrapped up in a belief that one is about the Lord's business. There seems to be little experimental knowledge of the Apostle Paul's confession that when he wants "to do good, evil is right there" (Ro. 7:21). We are so consumed by self-love and self-protection that we can read a statement like this and automatically think it applies to other people but not ourselves!
We need to spend more time meditating on the gospel asking the Lord to shine his gospel light into all the dark recesses of our self-love. Perhaps if the world were to see a people in the church who are honest about their self love and who are increasingly growing in love for the Lord Jesus and for others then they might notice?
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